You were a hard on me, 31. But I think one day I will look back and see that you defined me. You were the year I had my biggest wrestling match to date with who I am, who God is, and how this whole thing we call life is supposed to work, anyway. I think I came face to face with some hard truths about myself at 31. I was more shallow than I knew. I was more fearful than I realized. I was more lost than I wanted to let on. I pray that I come away from this year changed. I want to say this year transformed me, and that at the end of it, I was able to let go of some fear and doubt in order to embrace a new season of hope and trust.
At the end of 31, this is what I know.
" O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago. . . You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat." Isaiah 25:1 & 4
God has a perfect plan for my life. It's time to stop questioning the reality of that fact and embrace it as a statement of truth. That's my plan for 32. Run with that reality in my heart. Step out of the fear that has been weighing me down for far too long. Embrace the simple truth that my life--right now, today, this moment--is within the palm of his steady hand. Fling my arms open wide under the bright blue sky and laugh and dance and sing for I am who he created me to be, this day.
Hello, 32... I'm so glad to meet you.
This is beautiful, Tisha!
ReplyDeleteWe had very different "31's," but amazingly, with many of the same lessons being taught depths of our hearts.
I've been learning to embrace the goodness of God like never before. The idea that when NOTHING looks "good," He IS Good. The idea that when His plan looks NOTHING like "your" plan (and/or the one you *thought* was His) ... HE IS GOOD.
Learning to trust that His INTENTION for me is GOOD ... in THIS moment/situation/season, no matter what it looks like. (I *thought* I believed this, but have learned it in a very real way this year.)
It's a level of trust that and surrender that is, to be quite honest, terrifying ... but that brings the most AMAZING peace ever.
A couple of months ago, in a time of prayer, I felt God saying, "Shannon, this is NOT PLAN B." I thought, "Huh?" What I have been learning since is that, though not consciously, I had been looking at our situation with the thought: "Wow, God, you have been so GOOD and FAITHFUL to us ... even though this isn't what we/You ultimately desired." I really meant it as a grateful way of thinking, but what He is teaching me is that I need to trust that WHATEVER the circumstance, it is NOT PLAN B. If I am living a life SURRENDERED to Him ... THAT is Plan A. Even when it's messy. Even when it's ugly. Even when it HURTS.
A life surrendered to Him is PLAN A ... and it is GOOD. His intentions towards me are GOOD. He IS good.
:) Happy Birthday to us both this month ... BRING IT ON, 32!!
P.S. On another note, consider yourself warned ... if I ever get my hands on that little girl, I fully intend to kiss her little cheeks right off. SHE'S TOO CUTE!
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